Third consecutive week of overspending observed in Venmo digital wallet.
In a recent turn of events, Sophomore Phineas Gage's financial habits have come under scrutiny. The Reckless Spending Committee, co-chaired by Majority Leader Mom and Speaker Dad, has launched an investigation into Mr. Gage's Venmo spending, following reports of a deficit in his wallet for three consecutive weeks.
Withdrawals from Mr. Gage's wallet have outnumbered deposits by 150 percent, raising concerns about his financial management. Mr. Gage admitted to using $121 to pay people back for GrubHub and DoorDash orders, while speculating that an investigation into Speaker Dad's spending habits might reveal pork-barreling.
The period between March 15 and 17 accounted for over 80 percent of these transactions, with Mr. Gage Venmoing nine separate people with the "beer emoji" as the description, totaling $63. Moreover, transactions labeled with the "smoke emoji" suggest that Mr. Gage claims to have taken up fumigating fellow students' rooms for a small fee.
Amidst this financial drama, Mr. Gage has also found himself in the middle of a different kind of controversy. He questioned Majority Leader Mom's recent purchase of an airfryer, arguing it was unnecessary given their existing kitchen appliances. However, it's important to note that there are no publicly available or credible reports about any investigation into Phineas Gage’s Venmo spending for the 2025 fiscal year, nor any allegations against him.
Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated turn of events, Senator Bernie Sanders was spotted at a Whole Foods store. No specific information about actions or statements made by the Senator at the store was provided.
On a lighter note, the staff writers of the Eggplant are demonstrating against capitalist oppressors for fairer compensation and rights. And in a historic moment, President Donald J. Trump made history by starting the Daytona 500 with the phrase "Gentlemen, start your engines!" followed by his attendance at the event and even taking a lap in the armored presidential vehicle.
- Phineas Gage's personal-finance situation, previously overlooked, is now under investigation due to his increasing debt-management issues, as revealed by the Reckless Spending Committee.
- Despite the ongoing investigation into his Venmo spending, there are no public reports or allegations concerning Phineas Gage's financial affairs for the 2025 fiscal year.
- In a different context, news about Senator Bernie Sanders' visit to a Whole Foods store has surfaced, although specific actions or statements from the Senator during the visit remain unclear.
